Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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