just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
