hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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