im having a threesome with these popsicles
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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