hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
