Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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