dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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