i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Pooping to opera.
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