WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
