Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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