So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
