And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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