Swine flu. Run for my life!
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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