You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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