Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
