but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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