I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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