know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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