I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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