Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
just found out that she named her cat after me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
