I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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