**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
