I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
