I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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