its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
