you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
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