is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
