i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
