My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just cropdusted the office
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
