Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
