exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
