even my farts smell like vagina
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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