you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
