i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
