Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
