it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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