dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
