She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
