i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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