You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
