Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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