Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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