I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
