Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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