Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
