haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize