5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
