I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
