so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I party with great urgency now.
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