It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
