so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
