You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I want her autograph on my taint
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
