Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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