No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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