i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
