Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
