you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Drunk is not a location!
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