We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
