laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
